When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would TURN over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women Still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long , and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? You've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs -
Bonniy

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

with all the stuff going on, and just waiting, life goes on
my brother just moved not to long ago, and called to see how hubby and I were doing, while talking, he refered to the need for a lawn mower "the HOA" was yelling about his grass not being cut, and they have been there for less than 2 weeks now, well, we just happened to have a mower that we don't use anymore, so guess what, he came over tonight and borrowed the mower for as long as he needs it
I am sure glad that life is still normal, or atleast close to normal as can be

Bonniy

sometimes I ponder, and wonder why people do certain things, what makes a person fall in love with someone, why does a person fall out of love with someone, how can someone just decide that well, I loved you for dozens of years and now I don't love you like I did, and I want out of this marriage, I mean, yes I know that people do marry and divorce all the time, but, why if you love someone, do you decide to stop loving them and decide to love someone else, and how can you say, I still love you, but not like I use to, because I found someone else that is better than you are or ever were?

combining my husbands and my families, there are a total of 9 divorces , so I know it happens, I just can't fathom why it happens and why so often. I know that abuse is a major reason for divorce, which is understandable, but how does someone fall in love with their spouse, live with them for 20, 30 even 40 or more years, then one day realize that, hey, I no longer love this person like I thought I did, time to move on

does he/she not realize that by deciding to divorce they are destroying not only their partner of several years, but also their children and both sides of the families too.

I guess I just am confused by the emotions of people and just don't understand emotional feelings like most people do, yes, I know that my emotional life style is different than most, that I don't precieve emotions like most people, yes, I know its because of things that happened when I was a child. maybe someday I will understand it, but I dout it tho, you see, I love my husband, I was lucky enought to find my soul mate, and I did marry when I was older and made sure that I loved him and wanted to be with him for always